you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
