He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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