Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
