Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
