I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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