Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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