I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
did you just send me my own nude
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
