She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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