idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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