bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Text me some of your sweat
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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