If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
