Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
