youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize