My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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