You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
