Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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