I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
