Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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