So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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