I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
