I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
