Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
