dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
