i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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