I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
