Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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