I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
