Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
