i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had to cum in my sink.
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