I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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