I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
