gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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