They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
