he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
