I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
