I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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