when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize