trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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