Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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