operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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