I must be too annoying 4 u.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
