Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
