At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
