They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
