one might say we're banned from that church
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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