Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize