Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize