I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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