Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
