omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
