He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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