Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
