he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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