I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
