Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
