Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
