So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
