He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They took my balls.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
