Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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