His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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