Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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