what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
