i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
